No longer can I put myself through the pain of "stalking" my ex girlfriends face book profile, No longer will I endure the hurt every time I see what we made she has taken. I will no longer look in to her vodka bottle, her new slut, her VAGUE reality. I will no longer entertain the idea of our milkshake meeting. No I stop this right now and enter a new way. Today I entertain life with out the trash!
I permit myself to be free, to let go. This process begins now, because yes as every treatment centre has said if nothing changes...
Her lyrics are mine no more, even if I wrote many, her image does not belong to me, even if I created it, I do not own her and she no longer owns me. We are two separate beings. Who live two, very separate lives, we will not meet again. We cannot!
Ok now that I got that out of the way, look into a window of my home...
I see things in others, sometimes reflections, sometimes not! I see through people when they hide, I see the layers and the games. I see pretence and unknowns... I SEE DEAD PEOPLE.
What I see now is a 48year lady, who I believe is something other than what is shown. I silently watch from my smoking step at the bottom of the house as she swoons her way to a young lad. She is smitten with this marine, always whispering in corners, booking him a back wax, asking questions that cant help me notice she has taken special notice to him. A 48 year old clearly flirting or very attracted to a young 27 year old. I ask who the hell am I to judge as just last week I was perusing a beautiful 40+ beautiful woman, way out of my league: due to unforeseen circumstances I learnt a hard lesson, no longer do I objectify: not today. So no I judge not, I just see...
What I see now is a young girl, popular beautiful young girl, sad in herself, struggling to set herself free.
What I see is an old man, hiding behind a smile, convinsed this is easy.
What I see is a grown man, angry and lonely, very confused.
What I see a boy who is a man so desperate to succeed, he has almost lost touch with himself to compliance of being.
What I see is little lad, singing out as a cry, for not even he understands himself.
What I see is a mother who desprately seeks safety, who puts others before herself
What I see is a soft woman, doing all she can and questioning wether she is doing enough.
What I see is a therapist who is human and has sensitivities like any other, hurt, and pain, joy, peace
What I see is a councilor who has fear, who has hope, who has love, who just doesn’t always know
What I sea is an ocean, disturbed by currents and spirits unbeknown to any human force.
WHAT I SEE IS ME!
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