Walk through me

I may not have been myself lately but through this I believe I know myself wholly.

I am exhausted by this judgement of being this way or that way. I am this way and I wouldnt want to be any other way. Sure at times I am extreme. I may belive i see spirits, I may be open to it. I feel goose bumps when an energy surges through me. I accept it for what it is.

They will debate that we see only illusions. These might sound like the rantings of a kunatic, but hey if thats the way you see me, Im ok with that. I know I am kind, I know I can also be unkind. I am honest with myself and never fail to see the truth. Today I might seem like a zombie in a blue jumper to fight the flight of 'stoned by seraqoul' Some may see me as eccentric, nothing wrong with that.

I am not talking in tounges. BUT I know it could happen to anyone, you me , us them, just about anyone. I know AA/NA easily throw accusations that I would use BI polar as an excuse, I cant judge those who judge, how can I expect them to understand if they themselves have not experianced it. I believe This is harder to repair than addiction. In comparrison addiction is simple to treat, Bi polar a slight bit more conplexed.

I can not judge, I can accept. Accept this is what I need to go through to understand my complete self. I can not judge those who tell me to snap out of it. I can just be what was given to me, all these parts that make a whole are gifts.

Gifts of abnormal survival skills, to love, to care, to understand. We are all given gifts, we just need to give ourselves the time to tap into them.

So tap tap tap away.

I know today there is no need to relapse , why would I want to when everything seems so beautifuly complete. I dont have to be happy or sad to understand, I just have to understand that what ever is given is ok. Just perfectly okay!