Path Finder

This morning I was staring at an empty cubicle hidden by a plant and some blinds, waiting nervously for my shrink. I smiled when I saw her, an eager smile, my mind had a plan and I would do anything to make this a reality. I sat and immediately chatted away 'so I was thinking, I need to leave this place" I was full of energy 'you see, I'm not meant to be here" changing my direction" You know I got earplugs last night, so tyhat was cool" I giggled,' I don't belong in a room with an energy that could knock me down," I couldn't stop, rambling on so she stopped me for me, "I have good news and I have bad news" I did not interrupt. 'The good news is you are sleeping, your lithium is leveling out, the bad news are, the nurses have reported you are very restless" I thought to myself, of course they think I'm bloody restless, I am the only person who doesn't sleep all day!
instead i said "so what does that mean", "well you are clearly still manic and you are not 100%" , one hundred percent of what I wandered. "I will change your mood stabilisers and You need to stay here, you cant go back to seascape(the tertiary facility) i looked at her calmly "well, i think it should go like this...."


So I have gone from psyche ward to happy house! I am not surrounded by smoke and walls, I now live in an actual season. No brown walls and the sounds of psychosis filtering my mind. I think this works out best for me: I sit and take in the sea, I walk by the ocean with my grandparents. I may still have and edge to me but IO will enjoy having this edge surrounded by my well humoured grandparents just being me, without having to worry about what notes the nurses are taking, who I want to kill, dark forces contaminating my light. I feel for those people I do, but this is the best way to take care of self. Here's an example of how:

I went on a mission(walk) with my grandparents, My grand father navigated this mission. My Gran second in command and myself a dreaming corporal. We snuck on to a golf course. Not just any golf course as it lies on the rocky beaches. We marched forth to explore (lucky for me they are explorers) It was exciting, it was exhilarating and it was purely entertaining. We mapped out the logistics and found ourselves on a beach of wander. I walked into the ocean(this is much better medication the what I did at the psycheward the last 4 days) The sting of her touch, shook me, positively and rather then dark I became lighter. Navigating us back to the road, my grand father lead us in to a hill of thorny bushes, " i don't have much faith in this path finder" my grand mother said cynically. I giggled. He changed course and before we I knew it my Gran was leading, "We have a new leader, and I have all the faith in this leader!, the old leader was revolted from power" snickered my grand father. We all giggled.

For me this is the best kind of therapy, looking into the ocean as the ocean looks into me, freely walking about with out a nurses leash and of course the love and the laugh of my jocular family. Who wouldn't want to giggle til they cry, speak until they sing, splash until they swim, and dream until they become...