lost in the walls of the numb

Ok, this is making me crazy. I am somewhere I know in my gut I do not need to be. The frustrating thing is when I tell the night nurse I am frustrated cos I don't know what I'm doing here?
I explain to her I know why I came here but it does not apply anymore. Before I came here 2 weeks ago I was manic as a mad hatter. Then maybe I should of been herem I know the day before I came here
My mood shot down and I was depressed. The last few weeks I explained to all it felt like I was bound by a blindfold, I could see but all was distorted. Some kind of cage round my mind.
Well that blindfold has lifted and nothing is didtorted. When the nurse doesn't hear me and talks to me like a child I feel angry.

I am bound not by my blindfold but by an oponion of another. I do not need to be here!naturally if you surrounded by psychoses and suicidal depression naturally one would feel lowm but I only feel low because of surrounding.
My fear is the longer I hang with the gohst of the walking depression the more prone I am to fall into a darkness that is not me.

If it weren't for my visit, I would have a reason to be in that high care room. Its like being in prison when you innocent. The longer
I mingle with psychotics and nurses who baby me, like I am mentally challenged the more I will start to imagine that I am mentally challenged.
I am starting to question where there should be no questions. Fuck it! Let me out.

Then I breathe, I feel the love from others, I feel the love from me. Surely if I feel strong I should be free?
I try to observe others, the lady in my room who wanders stealing towels. The lady who needs 3 nurses to keep her down when she is hysterical.
My closet girl who hides there to cry. The man who plays pool with me but never says a word. Then ofcourse the woman that sleep and that is all they do
Is sleep. I imagine there sleep is a form of hiding there pain or just to exhausted to feel.

I wander what the story is behind each, instead I gently observe. I know I could and have been all these people, I truly have, but being here now, if anything my lesson
Has been I am none of these people now. I understand how easliy I could be, but the carzy truth today is : I am not and I do not need to be here!

Please somebody hear my cry before the cry I become...