The sky is not falling

Today I remember the voice of Chicken Little from my childhood, "The sky is falling" My world today is similar to this story, except I am not a chicken and my 'friends' are not farm animals.

One still beautiful morning I was drinking my coffee, staring at the calm sea. The sun came up from over the mountain as I hummed happily to myself.
Suddenly a voice came down and hit me right in the gut, bringing up old feelings. I dropped my cigarette and looked up. I could see the shadow of my stepmother and feel my heart go numb. Unaware she had dropped an "acorn on my head" unravelling in my heart, feelings still carried through from a harmful seated place.

"Oh fuck" I thought, "The sky is falling! I must run and tell my therapist" As i drove past there house, towards town, I called my mom who was working. "Why, 'chicken little', whats wrong with you?" asked my mommy.
"oh fuck mom, the sky is falling,and I'm going to tell my therapist!"
"Oh,'chicken little'what do you mean?"
"I saw it, I heard it, I smelt it,I felt it with my very own eyes,mind,heart and ears" I answered.
"I am here for you" my mom said calmly.

You get the point...
Basically I spent the weekend at my dad, A whole lot of stuff came up that I don't understand. I understand I can not change who they are or what is said to me , or even what they think of me. I just cant understand why certain things are so hurtful and I am helpless. I am not helpless over how I react to these things, BUT today was one of those days I felt The sky was falling, the ground was sinking and rocks were been thrown at me from the ground.

The chicken little saga, is that how I reacted , I was flustered, spending my day phoning my nearest and dearest, spitting out my frustration, hurling my hurt at the wrong people, I was angry, I brought everyone along for this ride. Angrily "why are they like this and why do they do this and why would they treat me in that way" (THE SKY WAS FALLING: and I was screaming it out to all)

I stopped at what I now refer to as my "parole officer" being my councilor. I got angry with her, telling her I'm sick of 'them' (my councilor and shrink) one tells me to do this , the other that and I become confused. With venom in my speech, I said "why don't the two of you just print out a list, telling me which books I can read,which movies I can watch,what people I can see etc, so that I can meet your bloody standards!" "Where does that anger come from ?" she asked, "The sky is falling, The sky is falling"

Home sweet home at my grandparents and where I am very happy to be. It started out well, I spoke of my weekend and then it happened again, those old feelings from childhood of not being welcomed and never understood, sometimes even heavily punished for being 'special and different' , yup, heaven came crashing and "the sky was falling"

phew, and then just like chicken little, after the fox tried to eat him and his friends, my fox being my mind going all negative on me and brandishing me to rocks and mud. All I was thinking, I need to tell my therapist, I want to tell her now. Things turned, grandparents suggested a lovely walk by the sea. I moaned and said no and called my mom, she laughed, 'that's okay, don't go for a walk, just sit with yourself and soak in self pity. So like chicken little I screamed once more "the sky is falling" I walked down the lane,through the dust roads,past the green sea,around the thistle trees,and back to the car and up the lane to home. Brought in the garbage bin and sat outside calmly with me, To my grand parents delight I forgot all about telling my therapist the sky is falling. To there delight, i no longer believed the sky was falling.

Today this was me.