I 'found' myself in Africa

I have been out of range for more than a week and am starting to show signs of withdrawal. A withdrawal from being unable to enter my world of blog. I have found myself dreaming of Internet connections and portals to keyboards. I now have the privilege of using my cousins computer. In his room surrounded by the periodic table, Dinosaur models and a mass Lego collection.

I have been in the wild so to speak, away in the African bush. I did attempt to climb a water tower to find an Internet connection(from old school land poles) I was unsuccessful. In sat at the top and took in the view: miles and miles of orange sky, a never ending bush and thorn trees. A soundtrack of thousands of bird species and the calls of the lion. Reminding myself I am amongst the untamed and feeling untamed myself(always) so,I carefully made myself down the tower to the other humans.

I will try and highlight my last week in one entry...

The day after my birthday I drove up into the bush veld with my grandparents, tired and unprepared for the hilarious evening ahead. My Grandpa and I trying to braai(barbeque) all I remember I remember was smoke in my eyes, us dancing round the fire trying to turn corn.

My first night alone:

In a beautiful room, copied as a ruin, was challenging. Although placed faraway from anywhere and in the middle of nowhere, my paranoia found a swap of fear for intruders to fear of animals intruding.After hours of scanning my room for snakes I fell asleep with ease but was soon woken by the grunting of a lion. Asa there is no fencing round our lodge and so close to all I got thinking. Surely if sharks sometimes attack humans surely then it is possible for a lion to come and have a snack off me in my bed. RIDICULOUS! I fell asleep to the sound of rain washing out the lions call.

WALKING:

My GP wanted to go walking. I politely declined reminding him where we were and sure I would go if he had a rifle, he did not, we heard later that a family close by had been mauled by lions, hence no walk.
I wander if animals observe us, suss me out before they gift us to observe them?

HIGHLIGHTS:

(1) A large part of my family arrived and yes of course there were the fireworks of a family feud, I'm sure the arguing and its loudness gave the animals a sound to fear, probably more wild then the wild, soon our tears died down.

(2) 'stealing' the open air land rover , me the driver, my mom, uncle and potential step sister my passengers. We we went for a joyride in the bush, I felt a part of. As I drove my mom filmed my uncle in a yellow dress pretending to be a game ranger and my step mimicking it all. It was funny and thrilling.

(3) Something that will live in me is the day we came across some very angry lioness, ready to kill, very Hungary. It was dusk and then dark, we had no light and no rifle and my potential step father shut off the vehchle. I cant describe what rush of fear held me down this night, i was twisted by it. I expressed that I had a bad feeling, my 'step sister' and I held on to each other as we tried to follow the green eyes.I could not see behind me and the cats became aggressive, almost vindictive, taunting us, i could See the hunt in their eyes. One was ready to pounce, another circling us as the other watched from the bush. I could not help but feel hunted and panicked, we soon left.
(strange I have no fear of elephants with in reach of me, as if they were to charge, it would be like being beaten up. A lion however would be ripped into pieces: no)

Alas the drama of my mind. Later the same evening something sprinted at me, I just saw eyes, thought it was a lion, I ran so fast and got away to see it was not a lion, but a Genet, the size of a house cat. All laughed at Me, including me.

I relaxed and breathed in my surroundings and addressed my fears. I know now what I fear or have feared most my whole life and like most people that is death. I fear nothing in between(well besides rejection and stuff) I learnt this when I feel a sense of belonging, from that I learnt to to take this sense of belonging with me and then to myself I will always belong.

As far as my fear, its just that, a paranoid sense of unknowing.

It seems I learnt more in the bush then just the basic survival of me.