flight of the chauffers

I went from practically feeling like a stowaway on a cargo plane to some character from gossip girl.
As I walked up what seemed to be the smallest plane I have been on, I couldn't help but notice the wings were
Smaller then the plane and the engines looked like tennis raquets, also they were brown instead of siulver or matt grey.
The interior of the plane came from 50 years back and the seats were as small as a normal chairs cushion shaped like a box.

As I have developed some flight fear over the years , this plane - was convinced : a deathtrap with tiny wings and cardboard seats.
I sat in the middle of two very large men and therefore had my elbows on my lap, but I somehow think even if they were two kids I
Would still have my elbows on my knees. As the pilot turned the engines on everything shook and thr gritting sound almost comotised me.
No no no , visions of fire and explotions I shut myself up and calmed myself down. Some meditation and positive self talk the flight
Brought me safely to my destination.

After a cramped 2 hours feeling like I was hiding in a crate on a ship, I got my luggage n I walked outside and for the firdt time in my life
There was my name on a board, held by a man in a suit. I had my own chaffeur, sitting in some new mecedes on my blackberry, looking out the window
Thinking "oh my god, I look like a spoilt little rich kid!" Well it was amusing playing that role for a while. Funny.

Before I boarded my plane today I made sure to see my therapist. Seriously go without her for 2 weeks, no!
The session was something a bit new, I was very animated, my hands everywhere, but focused and she is not indefferent
She is supportive: and that is a comfort. Its agreed I am finding a recovery that works for me, she did of course refer to me as an a cultural
Addict(what ever that is?) I took from it that sometimes some do not fit in to the programme, and I can successfully find , and positivley look forward
To this working for me.

Todays yesterday, tomorrows today!