game over

It must just be what comes with me, whirlwinds and freakstorms and sometimes bitter sweet aftermaths.

Simple things like, Ive lost a little weight,Ive got a job , urn my head around.

My heads turn round and I feel over exhilirated. This is how it works for me, one little bit of neglect and im in the pits, one tiny positive change and Im sitting in the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Deep breaths or no breath at all. Is that comsidered all or nothing?

Nothing can be wrong with this day and Im just going to enjoy it for what it is, but of course Im going to my dad for dinner and everything could change, but no I wont let it, I have to stop allowing others to be in controll of my feelings, sure I can give them (my dad) a little leway by letting him think he controlls my life, my feelings are a whole different ball game, a game i need to win or end.

Im taking a stand against control or being controlled for you can only really be controlled if you allow your self , the feelings that come with it are bonus or minus kill points. I feel to good to be let down, so no expectations and hopefully that will have an aded clause(you cant touch me unless I let you)

I shall see, take y brave self to the muddy ground, laced with land mines and other nasty tricks, I might not walk out unscathed, but I will come home alive.

all this drama for a few hours with my dad(he is afterall the one person that has remained the dominant them of betryl)

I will give him a chance and return to my bunker, the bunker of hope.