Im a dreamer

I spend a lot of time thinking. I was just thinking I have strange dreams and sometimes even stranger memories. I have often pondered about how its all connected. I know its connected in some ways. My problem is I often forget which is dream and which is real, that's when things start getting a little jaded.

I sometimes feel I walk in my sleep , i doubt I do, sleep walking through mind maybe. I feel like I am incomplete. A true being with human flesh, a wandering mind and a soul unmatched at times. I walk on dark waters and fly in strange lands, non exist ant to most, to others a freedom.

With all that said, I feel something different today. I have been down and in a refusal to admit it, not wanting to give in to what ever is fragmented in me. There was a moment today, when I became aware of everything around me. As I drove along the coast, I saw an old couple with violet hair to mach, walking along the beach holding hands, it sparked a feeling of calm, I smiled. A little further down the road, I halted my car to allow some very energetic and rowdy kids running across the road, they waved, it sparked a joy in me, I giggled. Then I came across a bunch of very trendy teenagers, huddling around a girl. I slowed down and peered, she was crying and they were all offering comfort, this sparked a feeling of compassion in me. I noticed I was taking notice, my deep sense of non connection was moving away and turning into an energy. A simple sequence of "emotional' witness sparked an energy in me. Although I was not personally involved in these events it churned my gut from nothing to alive.

I returned home and began to feel differently, like a dead tree blossoming. I went about my things, made a mothers day card for my nan, my thoughts were free. I have just realised what ingredient has been missing: dream(not subconscious dreaming) but I am dreaming. I have dreams I lost in all the ... i don't know what, it was lost to me...

and now i have my dreams back, I'm a dreamer, no motives or expectations just my core paving an invisible road, its mellow, its real, I'm dreaming.

Just don't pinch me