Rethink that Thought til it flies

Im here again and then Im there and then Im gone and now Im back. So it goes with everything in my life. never really sticking to anythhing, confident about everything at first and then I some how seem to steer off with another of my many ideas. I find it suprising that the only thing I have rally fully commited to was a six year, (unhealthy) relationship. Seriously?

I have been very occupied the last few weeks with new creative exciting adventures ,BUT, naturally now that things are comming together , self doubt is all bold in capital letters, highlighted in a white glow at the surface of my brain, etch etch etching away.
This has to work, I fight, self defeat and sabotage are two things i need to start rejecting. So rejection phase march forward.

I have started working at this little foods market on the side, selling tshirts for a friend. I like this market. I spend most of the day dreaming up my own many markets of over indulgence of creativity, I get the best eye candy ever and well I get to have a waffle or a pancake, what could be better then beauty,food and explortation.

To track things up , tyo help me from going to far in to things and sometimes not far enough, my problems with loniliness that I rarely admit to but live in from time to time, especially with my refusal to see people and my dismissive attitude when my phone rings, so well I have a new idea, Im getting myself a puuppy and her name is Phoenix, and my grandfather hates that name, and my father hates spaniels, and this one thinks I should do this and that one thinks I should do that, and everyone is weary about this puppy, MY Puppy, so I decided fuckit, this is my dog,I want a spaniel and it has nothing to do with reincarnating my late lulu pup, and I will name her phoenix, so phoenix see you in five days and lets be friends.

so It started as a thought and before I knew it , phoenix rose. It started as a favour at a market and before I new it, and idea flew, it all starts from somewhere, it could start from nothing, butsomething always starts from nothing, so I dont mind those nothings anymore....