No, I have not been here, not hidden in the shadows or on bathroom floors either. I have been nowhere really but a long term holiday. I thought being incognito suited me well, but after a session with my therapist (whom I still find attractive- doubt that will ever change) Point is she asked if I still paste my words into my blog. My answer was NO.
My answer has changed, She juggled some balls in my head and it got me thinking, I miss my entries, they are important to me, read or unread, they keep me in check, of where Im at where my wayward life unfolds.
So today I sit disappointed. My dad made me a promise a promise he could not keep. That fact brings me back to my entire relationship with this man from when ever to forever. I have been doing the right thing for me for almost 11 months now. A week ago I was finally going to move into a place my dad promised, only a few days before he retracted and I hurt.
My initial reaction was to use,then I thought of hanging myself in his bathroom (decided that would be a tad dramatic) so instead I sent a mail a mail he does not understand. So I can help but feel saddened, a little regressed.
Truthfully I am overcome with confusion, Kind of jaded, wearing a blindfold, waiting for my puppet master to pull my strings. In my soul I rip those strings from me , takem my blindfold off gently, and walk ever so slowly.
Away
is it?
who am I, Really?
- No-nosense
- say it how it is, show it as i see, feel it through me, be a realist carried by the whispers of a scream in my sleep, the screams that pave my way to dreams.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Speak to me