single

At first I didn't take to well to being single, well obviously no one enjoys been gutted.
Like most break ups - I felt a part of me sink deep, to deep to reach again, this time it happened
To be an intense 6.7year relationship of love and loss.
I thought I would never survive it. "Oh no, I don't care, I may as well use as much coke available and die" the
Normal self pity drug binge everyone leave me be and let me dteriorate til my heard goes.

Well I did survive it, the drug binge, the rehab, the love loss(although I still love her) the all of it.
And now I am honestly happy to be singleits a record for me,single for a year,I've broken my record and I'm clean.
Sure I'm not always happy but I'm honest with myself,I see differently, I know I allowed myself
To be with me.

Obviously I don't want to be single forever,living with masses of dogs7nlearning how to knit. No!
But,
Truly I believe I have learnt so much more by actually, genuinely letting go,of her,of it,of me.

Its good , its all just as good as it is tailored for me.
(Oh and the thing about still loving her,well that's ok to, to love her but to know she is not right for me or I for her,its goody