yes this is rather deepish

There are only so many times I can tell myself to be myself
Only so many times rejection winds me
Only so many times I can be shut out

There are many times - feel myself loose my myself
... Many times knocked in the gut from forces lured by need of love

Now I feel all
Feeling of loss of self and hacked out from love I believe
Should be a standard given

Loss of trust from a wayward relationship of a daughter to father
Taken away from a father by a father

Given a hope from self by self withdrawn
Into a land prefered by paintings
Drawn by a handful lust of gorge

Fallen to minimal mass of obstruction
Take nothing, give everything
This? Nature?

I call inward, outwardly love
A feather falls and smile written on my face

Not loss of self but circumstance
Gleeful leap into a phoshorous pool

Lure off, dig in
I need just a feast of free