family feud

Sometimes family brings the best out of you but today the worst has been one of the
Most hurtful and emotionallu draining days of my days.

I can't describe the feeling you get after your father tells you agressively that
You are less important than hi youngest daughter, he explains to you that he calls
The shots and has the power to decide who deserves less or more.

Well that hurt, I cried for hours. Hours and hours. I sent him a meassage explaining
That I can not be on this holiday when I am always third best, insignificant, I asked to go home.
He replied, once I had felt like my heart had been ripped and twisted and slung back in like iron
To mesh. He said I am not and I to have negative qaulieties, such as being over sensitive, funny I never thought of
That being a negative. I wish he could accept me as I am, but that is unrealistic.

So is me being apart of this . I don't want to hurt and I don't want to hate them.

Here I go again telling myself to focus on what's good for me, when it comes to feeling gurt from
My dad with our sordid past, its hard, its just fucking hard.

But ok, for me I believe ignoring the negative all the time only allows it to grow,
But working with the negetive and change, you get more positive, right?